Went to the retreat last night. My first time leaving the tri-county area in a year, since our fall retreat last October. Good to be with friends new and old, but I spent literally almost the entire time lying on the floor with my eyes closed. Just too much chest pain and weakness, too much brain fog to process what was going on. Came home after lunch today (1 day early). Missed exploration labs and (sigh) the annual group picture.
On the drive home I listened to a bunch of punk-pop-alt-grunge-rock (or something else semi-screamy and angry-sounding) and tried to process my frustration with everything. This stinkin' body I'm stuck with! This body I'm living in that's limiting me so much. I'm doing what I can to take care of you, you vile vehicle of my consciousness, and this is how you treat me? Break my heart, why don't you. I want the number for the complaint department. [1-800-SPLEEN ME? I know that number.]
In other news we had Lou's pizza for lunch at work yesterday and I realized what I really need most in the world is a T-shirt that says "Body by Malnati" haha.
Exhausted.
later days,
emma
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