Today I forced myself out of bed at 11am. I had been putting off a couple of important errands. I didn't feel great but I wanted to get up and get out.
I went to Best Buy to get an adapter for my new(ish) laptop. You don't realize how big of a store it is until you're unwell. Plenty of accessible parking open but I do not have a placard. I hobbled in from the parking lot and was directed toward the adapters, but there's like 15 different ones and I wanted to be sure I had the right one. So I waited (standing, unsupported) for about a minute and a half, for an employee to finish assisting another customer. In that amount of time, those 90 seconds, I can feel the oxygen not getting to my brain. I can feel the blood pooling in my feet, my stance unsteady. There's a woman in line behind me. How embarrassing would it be if I sat down right now? Or lay down? Coming here was a mistake-- luckily he finishes with the customer and I'm able to lean on the register while he confirms my selection and rings me up. I am feeling foggy and confused.
As I hobble out of the store and back to my car, heart racing, exhausted from my less-than-ten-minute excursion, I wonder if it's time to invest in a cane or walker.
And/or just stay home and shop online forever.
Everything hurts. Music makes things better. Maybe I'll post some tunes later on.
peace,
et
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