Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Moose Tracks

My Good People,

I am writing you in my despair. Beware! Read the carton carefully! Whether you go for the single-serve, pint-size, or, my personal favorite, the 10-gallon tub, the industry is out to get us. Sneaky people, I tell ya. So be on the lookout: "Frozen Dairy Dessert" is posing as real ice cream!! NO!! Truly this is an out-and-out crime. If you're a true-blooded American patriot, you will protest the horror. THE HORROR!

So yeah. Popsicle sales are down. Just thought I'd give 'em a boost.

But in all seriousness, it's all frozen yogurt. Yogurt! Who are you kidding? You think you could fool me? I'm a PURIST!

Well I crack myself up anyway. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are on vacation this week. Just doin' my part to fill the void. ;)

Tomorrow my family and I will be picking up my sister after school...decked out in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Check it, yo. As if we weren't weird enough.

Today: super tired. Stretched. Doing my best to get beyond grief and move on to, well, whatever's next. I'm adding Political Satirist to my long list of career options. Number 143, right there between International Pop Sensation and Professional Water-Wings Tester.

And just because I know you're curious, Number 1 is Short Film Critic. Because who would want to sit through all the long boring ones? I figure the workday would be a snap!

pfff haha. sorry.