The Cat in the Hat.

Time seems to be moving really slowly.

Today my mom and I walked outside for 19 minutes. Way too long and at a faster speed than I could really handle. I'm exhausted and my feet and right hand have been mostly numb for the last three hours.

I'm trying really hard to find happy things, to not get eaten alive by these ridiculously unfair circumstances. I have a lot of life left to live. I can't give up.

Excerpts from the list of happy things:

• Chocolate chip pancakes
• Green tea
• Ravioli
• My sofa
• Candy necklaces
• Proximity of doctors
• Post-its
• my pets
• memories from snowball

Anywho, I'm hoping I won't be really really sore tomorrow.

Catching up on all the television I never watched in high school,
emma

Red Vines.

Today I should be singing. I should be performing at IMEA All-State with U of I's Women's Glee Club. My high school choir--Patriot Singers--has also been honored with the invitation to perform. Just wish I could be there. Heck, I just wish I had the energy and the breath to sing. Humming a bit these days, but it's weak. Just waiting...

Anyway, so my chiropractor has basically admitted that he's never seen anyone as badly messed-up and as young as me. Drat. Have appts to see a neurologist and an acupuncturist this week. Exciting. January: the month of a second chiro. February: who knows! Keeping options open.

I'm signed up for a few "late start" classes at CLC--they begin this coming week. Not too confident I'll be able to go, but at the very least it's something to show the insurance company--that we've tried and tried to get me back to school but I'm just not capable yet. First things first. Gotta take care of the plague.

Audiobooks read with a British accent are so unbelievably entertaining. I find myself thinking in British a lot...words like Bugger, Posh, and Fancy that! I think it's so interesting how Americans pronounce so many English words differently...we say IN-no-VA-tive and they say in-NOV-ative. Oh those silly blokes across the pond. :)

cheerio,
emma

Boysenberry.

I really don't know what to title these posts. Titles in general seem silly for a blog of this purpose. What am I supposed to write? "Yup. Still Sick." "Feeling Crummy." "Absolutely bloody awful day!"

See, you wouldn't want to read that. So I will continue with the random titles.

Anyway, today I am laughing REALLY hard!! hahaha. Because I just got an email from UI's Phi Eta Sigma-- National Honor Society. How did this happen?!? It says I earned a 3.5 or above. LOL. try a "Withdrawn." ha. kinda like how i got into U of I in the first place...still completely mind-boggling. Maybe I should accept their invitation! Induction's in March. Maybe I'll be better by then!

In other news, "the recipient of the 2009 Krannert Debut Award is Melissa Davis, voice student of Professor Ollie Watts Davis." YAY!!! Melissa was my voice teacher, and Dr. Davis directed the choir we were in together. (No relation, despite the same surname and similar talent.) I'm so excited for them both!! It's a big deal. :)

Nothing new with me really, still laughing. hahahaha

it's good for the soul,
emma

Moo.

Same as yesterday, basically. More migraines, but easier to get around. Just wish my right knee would stop locking. Really dangerous on the stairs.

BBC's "Planet Earth" is like the greatest thing ever! I pretend I'm in school. Learneriffic.

Have finished uploading my "Now" CDs to itunes. i feel accomplished. currently listening to samantha mumba. oh yes, the disney channel 2-hit wonder. :)

taking deep breaths,
emma

Woof.

Sorry my condition causes me to speak in fragments.

Walked for 12 continuous minutes yesterday, per doctor's orders to loosen up my low back. Today, quads so unbelievably sore that moving, walking, sitting, standing are all difficult. Stairs are treacherous and to be avoided at all costs. I think I want to invest in a cane because it's so hard to get around. Very nervous about being home alone for part of the day tomorrow.

Other symptoms: very tired, heart palpitations, itchy eyes, ringing/pain in ears, really painful intestinal cramps, migraines, numb feet, numb fingertips, some difficulty breathing, dizziness. Hair falling out like crazy. Seriously considering shaving my head and getting a wig. Or very fashionable hat. I like winter hats.

I'm really trying to avoid looking like that guy from Lord of the Rings...you know...the "my precious" dude...not Dobby, that's from Harry Potter...anyway, you probably know who I'm talking about. The creepy one who has like 6 hairs left on his head. I'm getting pretty close to looking like that. :(

Started taking the FibroPlex Plus again today--for fibromyalgia, supposed to give me energy. Tastes nasty.

Happy things:

• Ellen DeGeneres stand-up DVDs are HILARIOUS!!! haven't laughed that much in a long time
• BBC is sweet
• Gonna get some books on CD tomorrow
• Mmm...cinnamon-sugar muffin!
  
• Still have food, shelter, clothing, and people who care about me. :)
  

Hoping tomorrow will be a bit brighter,
emma

Monday, Monday

• Doc says my back isn't healing as quickly as a teenager's should. In fact, it's as slow as a 40-yr-old's. what the heck
• Slipped on the stairs, no damage though :)
• Getting reallllly bored
  
• Don't like family feud crap
  
• There are no coloring books in my house! Awful!
• today's symptoms: numbness in right toes and right hand, joint pain, back pain, headaches, dizziness, earaches, heart palpitations...ya know, the usual.

I WILL GET THROUGH THIS, DAGNABIT!

finding nemo,
just keep swimming,
emma

Today

Extreme fatigue, back spasm, bloody nose, headache, heart palpitations, greater sensitivity to light and sound, weak joints, esp hands and knees.

Looking forward to some beautiful day when this will all be over.

abbott and costello,
emma