Pain and whatever

Went to lunch and a movie with family today. About 4 hours between the time my aunt picked me up and dropped me off. I got home about five hours ago. Still achy and sore and very sensitive eyes. The food and company and movie were good, but I have so much joint pain in my shoulders, it's hard to know if venturing out is worth it.

Last week I was feeling more hopeful I could go back to work soon. Now it's not looking good, for this week anyway.

Hands are hurting. So long for now.

et

"Into the Unknown"

I saw Frozen 2 twice this weekend. Loved it. Suffice it to say it was visually dazzling and musically magnificent. I have been listening to Elsa's song "Into the Unknown" on repeat for days. Its driving beat combined with Norwegian singer Aurora's ethereal voice and Idina Menzel's signature belt... it's truly transcendent. I love "Show Yourself" too. So many strong messages that so easily lend themselves to spiritual seeking and discernment. If there was any question of what Disney princess I was

I feel like I'm leaning "into the unknown" too. It's been over a month since I've been able to work. I am often foggy mentally and weak physically. I'm in considerably less pain than I had been a few weeks ago, but I haven't been able to participate in social or church things except via video chat. (Thank goodness for Zoom!)

I don't remember where I was going with this. I'm tired. Something about my leave of absence from work. Just taking one day as it comes.

Later, friends.

et

Venturing Out

Today I drove a car for a bit each way to get my hair cut. Then I stopped to get toilet paper because I was running low. This is the longest excursion I've had in some time.

I got home more than 4 hours ago and I'm still exhausted. Achy. Foggy.

Mostly been chillin with my kitty and watching British design shows. They are so much more relaxed and friendly than American TV shows. I like it.

Have a little homework to do and a paper due Monday. The semester is almost over! Holy cow.

Hoping to see Frozen 2 this weekend and/or go to church and/or go to friendsgiving. If I'm not worn out by everything!

Cats are really just like living, fuzzy heating pads for your lap or legs.

meow,
et

Welcome Twixie!

Meet Twixie! Aka Twix, aka Twixster, aka Cat Benatar.

She has all black whiskers except for one which is white.

Her purr sounds like a little motor.

She can be very vocal.

SHE LOVES FANCY FEAST.

She likes to climb on the couch (which I strongly discourage).

She likes to flatten herself so she can hang out under the bureau and yes, even under the couch.

She is snuggly when she wants to be.

She is a good cat so far and I'm so happy she is in her new home with me.

Enjoy the pictures!

(In the big cat room at the shelter)

YUM!!

That face!

Cat room again.

She has claimed the chair as her own!

Cat surveying her land.

meow!

et

It Feels Like Christmas Eve!

Today I signed the papers and adopted a cat! She's at the vet to get some shots. We will bring her here to her new home tomorrow afternoon! It feels like Christmas Eve... gotta get the house ready! I'm giddy with anticipation. I forgot to take pictures of her today. There will certainly be plenty to share tomorrow!

HRV training is going pretty well. My "aunt" S.H. accompanied me to the shelter and to lunch and noticed that I was doing much better today than the last time she saw me (and I could hardly keep my eyes open for a 40 minute visit before I had to kick her out!). Granted, I rested for a long time after our excursion, but it was good to have some decent time out. And something to look forward to! Cat cat cat cat CAT!

until to-meow-row,
et

Snow & HRV/emWave & Orphans

Well it's 11/11... somebody must've wished for snow! We got a good 3 inches or so over the last 24 hours, almost all of it overnight. I'm not sure if it's because of the timing of the snow, but this time around was much less difficult for me than the last time it snowed. I still had a migraine and found the sun and snow to be painfully bright, but I was able to get out of bed and do a few small things.

Faithfully doing my HRV sessions (Heart Rate Variability) on my emWave2 by HeartMath. I run my sessions while sitting up in bed, surrounded by pillows, which is good since I fainted during my session this morning. Combination of being sleepy and being lightheaded, high heart rate and low blood pressure! I'm ok. I just have a long way to go before I can tolerate the exercises and integrate the breathing patterns and coherence training to help manage my symptoms.

Yesterday K.V. and I went to my very favorite animal shelter, Orphans of the Storm, to get some snuggles and lovin' from dogs and cats. I was/am still sad about Sasha, but it was so healing to be around animals. I feel like it's what she would want for me. It was quite an experience to be in the cat wing on a busy Sunday -- very enthusiastic volunteers and staff placed a new cat in my arms every few minutes it seemed! K.V. joked, is this a shelter or a car dealership? They act like they are working on commission! Sell sell sell! Always be closing! Here come the cats! There go the cats! Get 'em while they're hot! It was a great outing and really cheered me up.

So happy my pastor is visiting me tomorrow. Human interaction is wonderful. Also she is wonderful. Double wonderful!

Stay warm! High of 20 degrees tomorrow? Brr!

peace,
emma

So Long For Now, Sweet Sasha

My sweet, wonderful 17-year-old cat Sasha passed peacefully today in my arms at the vet, surrounded by those who loved her most. I've been crying most of the day. Not ready to write about it yet. She was such a good cat. I miss you so much already, angel cakes.

Thankful for all the visitors, calls, texts, etc. I feel very loved. I think Sasha had only a small idea of how many people cared about her. I sure talked about her a lot. My friends and family are very loving and have been giving me space to grieve while checking in to see what I might need. Today folks brought me flowers, donuts, and brownies, and all the hugs. I hope I feel some better tomorrow. Going to see some furballs in the afternoon to fill the achy emptiness in me.

In other news, I got my emWave2! Did my first 20 minute coherence session (on low). Ended with 95 green, 4 blue, and 1 red. Not too shabby of a score but it is a LOT of work and by the end I was so light-headed I was seeing all kinds of spots. I'm going to aim to do 2 20-min sessions every day for the next 2 months. It's what got me better last time. Worth a shot. Go Team Emma!

our furry friends leave paw prints on our hearts.

love you, baby girl

emma