Friday, June 5, 2009

Steal My Sunshine - Len

Still breathing.

Someday my life will be transformed into a sappy Lifetime movie. I will sit offstage in a director's chair and yell at the poor girl cast as me. I'm my toughest critic. (Ha, get it?) They'll have no choice but to fire the kid, bless her heart. Then I will win an Emmy for portraying myself in the made-for-TV movie "Emma: Not the One with Gwyneth Paltrow."

David Letterman will make "Oprah, Uma. Uma, Emma" jokes. The National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences will praise me for my insightful, heart-wrenching depiction of, well, me. No matter the critic's response, the fashionistas will totally diss whatever I wear. Hence I will wear sweats to the Emmy's and call it a "non-conformist statement." Yeah, take that.

Aw man. Same old story. Security will cite the dress code and kick me out. As my shoes flip-flop off the red carpet, I'll whisper to Paris Hilton, "Your epidermis is showing." Her confused expression will be worth the five minutes of fame, my friend.

Yep. It will be a smashing good time. =)



  1. You're funny...bring me to the awards with you?? <3 :)

  2. lol =)

    yay, sweatpants at the Emmy's!