Tuesday, December 29, 2009

No Idea

It's time to make some kind of plan, some kind of decision. Time to move in some direction.

Noooo idea. No idea what to do. Nope. I mean, there are lots of options...?

This is me. This is uncertainty. This is uncertainty eating me alive.

Results are in, 2008 was a record-breaking year for high mercury levels in Chicago drinking water. Tests for mercury poisoning are crummy, from what we can tell. But some symptoms include muscle problems, fatigue, hair loss. Sounds fishy. (Oy. Sorry.)

Oh! And I keep forgetting to post the article that was written about me and another POTS patient in the area, published a few weeks ago. There were definitely a few MAJOR cringe moments in reading it. Let's just say the reporter didn't check the facts with me before it went to print. All in all, still helping to promote awareness of Dysautonomia/POTS.


the days are getting longer!

Friday, December 25, 2009


And so it was proclaimed in the highest... APPLICATION SUBMITTED!!

Celebrate! And email my admissions counselor! And call him! At home! Ten times! Leave messages!

I've applied for Fall 2010 at USD. Looking into the possibility of living on-campus in the Spring (January-May) without taking classes. Also looking on Craigslist for housing in the area.

Free advice: When listing, please specify the gender(s) of the residents and who exactly it is that I'm calling. These situations are strange enough already.

[Man's voice] "Hello?"
"Oh. Hi. [Awkward.] Um, yeah. I was hoping you guys were girls? [2500 Stupid points awarded to me.]"
"Uh...yes? The tenants are female...[I am now VERY confused.] I'm the landlord."

And if you dont use punctuation no one will be able to understand anything okay what were you thinking not putting any periods or commas hello hello great location wait where is it and theres no pictures dont you want to rent your place is it so hard to poofread do you speak english utiliies included call TODAY!!!!!!!!!!


I love Deerfield! Had some more energy yesterday. t was great to be back at church and see everyone. You all rock! Singing the alto line is fun. And it scares the visitors. :-)

Merry Christmas everyone!


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I'm a Celebrity. Buy My Book.

Not sleeping well, yet lots of vivid dreams. Acute analysis suggests I take music too seriously. Yes, my worst nightmare centers around a performance space with (gasp!) subpar acoustics.

Glad I've been able to attend some Christmas gatherings, but it's still a challenge physically. I can feel the changes in the barometric pressure more. Snow is the worst. Fatigued, achy, little appetite, foggy thinking. Tomorrow they're saying freezing rain; we'll see if/how that affects me.

So it seems the obvious solution is to move to San Diego... I wish it were as simple as that. Illness sucks. More questions than answers. It doesn't make sense for me to stay here when I can function there, but What If? I hate that. Stupid POTS. You have to address every fear, every possible situation. Short-term, long-term, in an emergency? Too much to think about.

It's stressful.

Economics might have been my worst class in high school. But I remember learning about opportunity cost. You have to choose one or the other, not both. Every decision comes with some risk, some loss, and maybe a reward. Living in San Diego could be awesome. It could be the link back to a normal, productive, fulfilling life. Or not. No guarantees.

I don't know! And I also don't know the name of that great mixed a cappella Christmas song I heard the other day. It starts "by ya ya by yun da da da" and then moves into a rhythmic "chigga din don dy ya" ... "bum bum yeddo bum ba yadday" ...?

Lol. Parlez vous Nonsense Jazz Syllables? If you know the song, please help a sister out. :-)

peace by peace,

Monday, December 14, 2009

Indecision! Surprise, surprise.

Total overload. Finished the app.

[Favorite question: "List your top 5 talents" "Only five?! My sense of direction alone is so unique, I could do five on just getting lost. In the car. On a boat. In a Reese's!"]

Ha. Well. Tomorrow we will send it all in, maybe? So stressful. I wish we could take health out of the equation entirely. Please pray!


Friday, December 11, 2009

San Diego - Day 7 & Back to Chicago

Our last day in SD was sunny and warm and full of packing madness. At the airport we sat outside for maybe 10 minutes, and I felt 100%. I wanted to go jogging. Just amazing. The flight was totally fine again! Even coming into Chicago (7°) was good. I'm so proud! I can fly!

Starting to feel some of the symptoms creep back in, so I'm eager to get all my USD application stuff together ASAP! :-)


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

San Diego - Day 6

Today we toured the University of San Diego, a private Catholic school. It is exceptionally beautiful. The admissions staff was very understanding and a lot more flexible with my limbo status of freshman/transfer. So based on my situation and my high school performance, they're making some allowances for me. I am applying for spring semester! Starts at the end of January.

Did I mention I'm feeling awesome?

So this is the plan. Get home tomorrow. Phone calls and paperwork and preparing for auditions. We'll hear about financial aid and go from there.

The back-up plan is to attend Mesa Community College and possibly transfer to USD in the fall of 2010.

Yeah. It's way more complicated than that. We'll see what happens. So, so, SO happy to be physically doing so much better though. Praise God!

"So...do you guys have a hockey team?"
"Um, no. It's California. How about...windsurfing?"


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

San Diego - Day 6

The great news is, I'm still feeling great! The bad news is, state schools here are more than a smidge complicated. Touring a private school tomorrow. Hopefully less red tape!

"This is the lamest excuse for a pillow EVER."
"That's a pile of bedsheets."


Monday, December 7, 2009

San Diego - Day 5

It's a monsoon outside. I'm not even exaggerating. The locals are panicking a little. They're saying this is about as much rain as they get in a year. Lucky we are safe in the hotel!

From what my mom has read, this is the worst barometric pressure SD can have. So a nice experiment for me, I guess. And I'm feeling pretty good! I was so hyper last night, on no sleep whatsoever, I was afraid I'd have trouble sleeping again. Psh. Nine hours solid. Awesome.

On the school/life front, let's make a flowchart.
Plan A - Shrug.
Plan B - Roll eyes.
Plan C - Pull hair out.

We will see. Patience, grasshopper!


Sunday, December 6, 2009

San Diego - Day 2, 3, 4

Hello! Finally an update. It's been cloudy and cool here. Roads are crazy. We're starting to get the hang of it.

Got in Thursday night. Friday was great. The pressure is SO much better here. Overall feeling pretty capable. Tired later in the day from so much sun. Numbers are good. Trying to get enough food and fluids. It's hard when my appetite is nonexistent. [Missed the carol concert at USD, but now I get to hear it online!]

Saturday we walked around SDSU. Lots of walking and stairs! And not using the handrail! BAM. Campus is beautiful. Lots of serious studying going on. :-) Official tour and admissions meeting on Tuesday. Will have more info then, maybe? Rested, then a fun evening out. That's Howey Do It.

Last night I didn't sleep at all. Not even 5 minutes. Too much on my mind, I guess. Been able to stay awake all day though! I am certainly doing better, but there are a lot of questions still about my health. The wheels are in motion. We'll figure this out. Will keep you posted.

Surf's up, Grainy Waffle. (Sandy Eggo. Get it?)

Friday, December 4, 2009

San Diego! [Day 1]

Yesterday: First snow in Chicago. Magical.

The flight was fine! Tremors and some involuntary muscle twitching, but takeoff and landing, no complications. Didn't have to use the wheelchair - yay! We arrived in San Diego 40 minutes early. Superb.

Right away the air felt...happy? Awake? Like my brain was already reacting to the climate. I pulled my own luggage and helped with the GPS and everything!

Today things are going really well! It is absolutely gorgeous. Sunny, warm, palm trees. Swam. I can feel the pressure here is better. My hands and feet look normal, my veins look normal, my thinking is getting clearer, and I'm just feeling...good? Is that possible? I feel good?

Schools! Choirs! Yay!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

What Is Not The Name of the Game? Avacadon't.

We made it! Hoorah! Must sleep!

details later,

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

How To Tune a Jingle Bell

December: Best-sellers waiting to happen.

"I'm leaving for San Diego tomorrow!"
"WHAT? What happened to [chant] 'two days away'?"
"You mean yesterday?"

haha. Yes, tomorrow! Please say some big prayers (or lots of little ones) for the flight to go well. Symptoms, for sure, but no in-flight movie?! Reason for concern, I should say. The good news is we get to board first, steal all the pillows and blankets, and press the attendant-call button all we want. Mwahaha.

Must...pack...now...or later.
Yeah. Later sounds good.

I shall write you from the West Coast. Oh climate. Be good.

Much love!