Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I'm a Celebrity. Buy My Book.

Not sleeping well, yet lots of vivid dreams. Acute analysis suggests I take music too seriously. Yes, my worst nightmare centers around a performance space with (gasp!) subpar acoustics.

Glad I've been able to attend some Christmas gatherings, but it's still a challenge physically. I can feel the changes in the barometric pressure more. Snow is the worst. Fatigued, achy, little appetite, foggy thinking. Tomorrow they're saying freezing rain; we'll see if/how that affects me.

So it seems the obvious solution is to move to San Diego... I wish it were as simple as that. Illness sucks. More questions than answers. It doesn't make sense for me to stay here when I can function there, but What If? I hate that. Stupid POTS. You have to address every fear, every possible situation. Short-term, long-term, in an emergency? Too much to think about.

It's stressful.

Economics might have been my worst class in high school. But I remember learning about opportunity cost. You have to choose one or the other, not both. Every decision comes with some risk, some loss, and maybe a reward. Living in San Diego could be awesome. It could be the link back to a normal, productive, fulfilling life. Or not. No guarantees.

I don't know! And I also don't know the name of that great mixed a cappella Christmas song I heard the other day. It starts "by ya ya by yun da da da" and then moves into a rhythmic "chigga din don dy ya" ... "bum bum yeddo bum ba yadday" ...?

Lol. Parlez vous Nonsense Jazz Syllables? If you know the song, please help a sister out. :-)

peace by peace,

1 comment:

  1. hey emma =)
    well, it "sounds" like 'kiss from a rose' by seal... but I'm not sure since it's not really a christmas song... :D
    I wish you and your family a merry christmas and a much much better and happier new year!