The Latest

It's been a while. Things have been kind of all over the place.

In January 2014 I started school as a full-time student and did that for about two weeks, until my Auntie Cheryl passed away suddenly. I dropped to part-time, and ultimately dropped the semester due to my mom's frequent ER visits at CTCA, and also due to my grieving the loss of my beloved aunt.

In the summer semester I was able to complete two courses, which is considered a full-time load-- first time in 6 years! I aced Social Psychology and U.S. History 1876-present. Yay! Meanwhile, I dog-sat and babysat a bunch, and I got the job as my church's new Youth Ministry Intern. A while later it was pointed out to me that I'm not an intern; this is my job. So I got a promotion of sorts! Now I'm the Youth Ministry Leader at Christ UMC. I love it! Tonight is Faith Frenzy Friday. Need I say more?

This fall I started as a part-time student, working part-time at the church, and also doing my nannying gig. I have since dropped school and the nannying to focus on my mom's needs. Being a caregiver is so difficult and emotional and you're grieving at the same time... props to anyone who's ever done this job. And when your loved one has memory problems, it's a whole other dimension. My mom has had some pretty major delirium in the last week due to a high fever and an infection. Sometimes my mom says stuff that makes me laugh, like the other night she told me that I'm going to marry the ambassador's son. No contest. I said I'll take it. ;-)

We've been in and out of the hospice facility, first for pain management, then for the fever/infection. Mom is now on antibiotics which are really helping. We are under hospice care at home which means Wendy, our nurse, comes to our house three times a week (M/W/F) to check on Mom and the family. Dr. Newman comes as needed too. We like her. The social worker, April, came last week. She is awesome. Such a calming presence.

I could go into detail on Mom's medication, her nephrostomy tubes/bags, and all the ongoing crises big and small that we've had over the last two or three weeks. But I really don't want to. A lot of times the medical stuff hits too close to home for me. It's depressing. Moving on.

Our church, our friends, and our neighbors have been and continue to be a HUGE support. I cannot even begin to describe how their prayers, cards, meals, flowers, and small favors have kept me going when I've been at my weakest. I love you. We love you. Thank you.

Self-care is one of those things that you just have to keep doing. It's just really, really hard to justify. Sometimes taking a shower even is a big deal. Today I was feeling like I might faint, I'm so deconditioned and so tired. So I did a couple rounds of relaxation, and that was so helpful. Then I went for a walk. Later on I'll do my breathing with the emWave system I got at the POTS Treatment Center in Dallas. I need to remember to take care of myself, especially during fall when POTSies (even former POTSies) have a tendency to have more noticeable symptoms. But overall I believe I am cured of POTS, I just have slightly bumpy days if I don't eat/sleep or if I get too stressed out... like a normal person I guess!

Wish I had something cheery to sign off with. How about that this season on Project Runway has been amazing! Fashion Week episodes are about to start. Go Amanda!!!

emma