Hang On Little Tomato - Pink Martini

I don't know about my physical symptoms, but I think acupuncture is helping me mentally and emotionally. The treatments are making me cranky at times, but I'm more aware of my fears, I think. Now I wish I knew what to do about them! We're doing more points in acupuncture tomorrow. Hope session #4 goes well.

Didn't have the energy for choir auditions. Sad. But who knows if I'll even get into the school. One step at a time. We'll know in...6 weeks maybe?

Must: eat more. sleep better.

Miss America didn't make the crying face. :'(

emma

Carry You - Dispatch

Acupuncture itself was fine. Relaxing, and the needles are almost microscopic. No porcupine quills! It'll take about 6 visits to see if there’s a difference. It is no fun seeing new doctors though. Lots of paperwork, and then "Reason for Visit" ... in two lines or less. I think I wrote "I'm screwed up." Pff. Whatever gets the point across.

Here at the Institute, dreams do come true. Precisely every 50 minutes I observe two new driving students maneuver a car for the first time. Yep. The DRIVER EDUCATION hot-rod scoots around my street at 5 miles an hour...sixteen times today. I drove that car once. Sigh. So many near-death experiences. If your partner plays racing video games all day AND doesn't speak English, well, best to you.

Tomorrow I may stand in my front yard, excuse me, "The East Quad." New drivers need to learn to know how to cope with surprising or stressful situations behind the wheel. "Your lights! Your light-brights are on! Rainbow Brite! My Little Pony!" "What is this awful leak? I'll just light a match..." Or maybe I'll put a stop sign on my mailbox. Or a No U-Turn in the middle of the cul de sac. Or randomly place a few orange cones or blinking yellow lights. Speed Minimum 55. No parking. No stopping. Time to switch drivers, just keep rolling. Watch your feet.

I wish I could drive.

et

Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson

Today I thought I saw two deer outside. It was just a dog. A really, really ugly dog.

Fatigue, nausea, pain. It feels like I've been punched in the stomach.

Acupuncture tomorrow!

pin cushions,
emma

The Institute

Pain. I think my internal organs are conspiring against me. All of them. Ow.

I will take this opportunity to officially announce the founding of The Emma Trevor Institute of Thought and Design.

The Institute is known for its awe-inspiring scenery [cassette tapes set up like dominoes], its strongly-enforced dress code [semi-pajamas], and its unheard-of 1:1 student:teacher ratio [both me]. I mean, that should go without saying. We're the most selective university in the world. Our staff features yours truly, Professor Emeritus of Trevorology: D.E.T. (Yes, I have been awarded a doctorate because I have been studying this species for, like, ever.)

The Founders are still working on a logo and mascot. Hm. Inspiration could strike at any -- Look! A dead bug!

Time to teach another challenging course: Overly Anticipating The Return of "The Office." I only award A's to students whose term papers include a stapler molded in Jell-0.

Best,
Prof. T-revs

Faculty Bio:
Books and articles include, Good Food Ought To Be Hidden (1999); "Small Things Forgotten: Unearthing 10,000 Beanie Babies" (2002); and who could forget the award-winning "Mastering Sarcasm: YEAH RIGHT" (2005).

[Source: My Crud-entials, 2010]

The Forecast - Jason Mraz

Four-year-old girl on the plane: "Run run run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me I'm the-- hehehe! You can't catch me I'm the-- hehehe! The-- eee hehehehe! Ginger man bread! Cookie! AH HAHAHA!"

haha. I'm back. Florida didn't work out, but it was worth a shot. Thirty percent chance of acupuncture, coming up next.

fun stuff,
et

Marching Bands of Manhattan - Death Cab For Cutie

Very tired. My heart hurts. Not able to do much. However I have found a nice rotation between PBS Kids, figure skating, and C-SPAN.

I'm flying home on Monday!

et

Frown

A beautiful day here, sunny and 80. Thought these conditions would be ideal, but it was a long, rough day. So disconnected cognitively. Heart palpitations, crazy fatigue, headaches, etc. Bed-bound. Had a couple better hours in the evening. Not a lot of rhyme or reason.

Trying to cope with my limitations. I can pray for Haiti. It's enough.

emma

Tra-la-la

Yesterday: pretty good. Today: not so much. Chest pain, jerking/shaking, and fatigue. Unpredictable! Gr!

And just for kicks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVo-S9ns2_A

like...cool

et

Poli-tics

Up-and-down today. My brain's doing better overall, but struggling with ticks and muscle twitching. Taking it easy.

Pleased to meet a few neighbors: Bry, CeCe, and Princess. Unique for the area, we play neither golf nor tennis. I think I'll fit in just fine... provided I bring enough doggie treats to go around. :)

cable news...it's sensational!!!!

oh the hype,
et

Extending Stay

It's frustrating and scary and cold. Long days. Neuro/cognitive problems, fatigue, vision weakness... who knows how much is due to the freezing cold? I was an absolute mess at home. Found a decent living situation here, but it's not worth a dime if I'm not FEELING better.

Consensus: Need more time to make a decision. I'll stay here with my grandparents through the week. It's supposed to be sunny and warmer, which will be a more accurate trial for my health than this crazy, fluky weather. Then we will reevaluate whether to (a) find more independent residence in FL; (b) return to IL and stick it out; (c) continue looking for places in San Diego; (d) meh. There's always Narnia.

Mom is flying back tomorrow. Lots to settle still.

So the goals this week: Monitor my health. Take care of myself. Salt, water, meds, sun, exercise some. No guilt, no worries. Things will turn out.

True story:

[Waiting to be seated at a restaurant. Me: weak and fading fast. Standing room only. Five minutes. Desperately snagged a place to sit.]
Elderly woman: Excuse me, dear, I have a back problem. [We make room. She sits, chuckles.] Aw, you girls are too young to have problems.
[Painful, painful glances.]
Me: You'd be surprised.

be kind out there,
emma

Hello, Florida

Low temps and snowy weather in Chicago have been unbearable for me. Extreme fatigue and confusion. Our flight was only delayed by a few hours. It's unseasonably cool in Fort Myers, but we'll take it.

Drove around. Saw apartments. The sun felt great this morning. There's a big storm coming in tomorrow, and it's really affecting me. [Notice how there's always a storm. Way to go, metaphors.]

There are SO many components to think through. My future here or anywhere? Only time will tell.

emma

Title Wave...wave!

On Thursday, my mom and I are flying to Florida. We get to visit my grandparents. Plus I need to escape the winter here. I hope I will feel better. Perhaps I will find some housing nearby and end up staying for a while.

[Non-committal statements]

Sorry if my blogging becomes less detailed and less frequent. I need to pack and think and prepare my repertoire for auditions due in, oh, three weeks.

You are really cool and I will do my very best to get back to emails...someday!

Happy New Year!
emma