Well it's 12:30am over here. Time for my daily dose of gummy bears. But no! Today will be different! So instead of eating a crap-ton of candy, I ate a crap-ton of celery! And then some pizza. I will regret that in about five minutes.
It is very hard to fall asleep. I don't want to talk about it. I'll just make myself cry.
So instead of lying in bed all weepy and pathetic, I lie on the couch and watch Cheers on Netflix. It's so silly, but because it takes place almost entirely in a public space (the Cheers bar), I feel like I'm "out" with people. I can let myself "get away" for a few episodes in the wee hours. Cheers is open til 2am, so I'm in good company!
Saturday was a really good day, that is, good after 2pm, which is when I got up "for real." I typically get up at 5am (feed the pets, wander around the house) then again at 9am (eat breakfast, stare at the wall) and go back to sleep. Anyway, once I was awake for real, I had a lot of energy and did 4 or 5 loads of laundry, cleaned out the fridge, matched up the orphan socks, did some light cooking, and made like 12 lists of things to do when I have energy like this again.
Sunday I was very tired and sore, but very proud of all I'd done and grateful for a good day.
I feel like I should write something about my mom, but I'm tired of crying. It's just not fair.
Well, my fictitious bar is calling my name!
Later.
emma
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