Sunday, September 19, 2010

Defenestrate

meaning: to throw out of a window, e.g., After the receptionist lectured her for 10 minutes on other people's stupidity, the kindly young patient wanted to defenestrate the telephone. Could it indeed be her fault the doctor had illegible handwriting? Is this not a regular occurrence? What do I know. I'm just a silly girl. It says so, right there on all of my medical records. Born in NINETEEN-NINETY? And this test is for YOURSELF? Are you SURE?

Ah-ha-ha no, my shrill-voiced friend. Yooou're right. You have me all figured out. Just another prank call requesting an infrequently performed neurological exam. Couldn't fool you, miss. She must have heard the riot I caused last week. I rang up a less-than-well-to-do taco establishment and notified them of my chronic condition called POTS.

A small shame to society, I am. Pestering poor taco salesmen and pharmacists. Day and night, night and day. A menace. A practical joker sloppily signing MD's notepads, selfishly seeking the thrill of having my brain professionally photographed. I'll change my ways, Nadine, I will! Right after I put those pictures on the internet.

So here's hoping I don't meet Nadine in person this week. If she keeps me in the waiting room for 20 minutes, then I'll know it's her. ("Hold please. You're at the end of the alphabet.") Then I will defenestrate her lousy phone and computer and fax machine. And maybe swipe some fluorescent Post-Its... for later defenestration.

Kidding, kidding.

Besides. It's on the first floor. How much fun could THAT be?

paperweights,
et

P.S. - My blog (yes, the one you're reading right now!) is listed as a source for the POTS page on Wikipedia! I found out a few days ago, by my "Stats" page on my Dashboard. The numbers blow my mind. In the last 60 days, Stronger On The Other Side has been accessed 2,263 times (not including me). Most people are from the U.S. Second place goes to Luxembourg! China, Germany, Canada, Australia... are you kidding me? So cool. POTS awareness to the max.

Hope you are well. Any requests for future posts? Would love to hear from ya!

Here's the Wikipedia link (Citation #18)

2 comments:

  1. D: So lame! I hope your brain puts on some makeup for when it gets photographed. Has to look its best you know!

    As for the defenestration, if you find you're too tired I will be more than happy to help you with any people/places/objects that require defenestration. ^_^

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  2. So pumped your blog is getting so many hits! That's so awesome, girl. Way to be an inspiration and an aid to others! So proud of you. :)

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