Widdershins

Couple rough days. So fatigued. Not sleeping much after 3 am. Ugh.

I am devoted to my studies, nevertheless, and have added The Marx Brothers to my curriculum. They're genius. After Monkey Business, I'm hooked.

"Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean... flee to my lodge in the hills."

stumbling along,
et

Buoy

Wed/Thurs - EXCELLENT. No palpitations/mood swings/other side effects. So much energy! Did sprints, weights. Started my first Austen (Yes, Miss Woodhouse, you ARE a manipulative little sweetheart).

Today - Rather good. Slept a lot. Not too sore. The weather is beautiful and mild- probably helping me out.

I don't know how long this grace period may last. Gotta enjoy every minute. Even when I'm bored or lonely, it sure beats feeling sick. Just with my cognitive function better, I can surf the web and keep active in pursuing my interests...a big step for me. Love it.

best wishes for your weekend!
et

Rambunctious

The Emma Trevor Institute of Thought and Design is back in session! Yippee! I got my schedule today. (Gosh, my professor's handwriting is so familiar!) No dates/times/deadlines. Just get healthy and learn a lot in the meantime. *Class listing subject to change whenever I feel like it.

Fall 2010
Emma Trevor
ID# 000001

-Singer/Songwriters
-Fitness and Wellness
-Trends in Contemporary Musical Theatre
-Recommended Books
-Dialect & Communication Studies
-Cultural Studies: Southern Africa
-Foundations of Faith
-Foreign Films
-Bulletin Board Decorating Sciences

Plan of attack: Youtube, Wikipedia, books, magazines, TV. Mostly the internet. I'm so happy I've been able to read as much as I have been. Take nothing for granted.

I guess it's like a big project. Curiosity as distraction. I can work with that.

Best musical find: "Alto's Lament" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HABEHXu40fw&feature=related

happy semester,
et

Vignette

Major ups and downs. Achy. Gotta give myself time to adjust to meds.

Tomorrow my sister goes back to school. The days might be quiet and still. All the more reason to dive back into meditation, right? To transform through the renewing of your mind-- not only restful but develops insight as well. What will this year bring? God only knows. Be not afraid to find out. :)

peace,
emma

Annihilate

Said good-bye to Kangen water. It was a good run. Thanks to our friends who lent me their machine!

Started the Nuvigil this morning (after a fitful night's sleep and feeling exhausted this morning)...and AH! I am so hyper! Sweaty and got the jitters, but wow, I am so awake! I took the wrong dosage by accident (oh...just HALF a tablet), so I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be feeling capable but not spastic.

Wee! Energy! Jumping bean! Ah!

Blago? NOOO!
et

Baba Ganoush

We have electricity again > A/C and the internet > I should write this already.

To be brief and honest, my visit with Dr. Grubb did not go well. That is not to say you should not see him or another POTS specialist. He is very knowledgeable, certainly, and mentioned some good points, namely that that those who get better will continue to get better. I'm glad he was upfront about the fact that I may have more relapses, and the road to recovery may be bumpy still. I get that. And it's very hard to hear "be patient" or even "it'd be a fantasy to think you'll go back to the way you were". Ouch.

His bedside manner is just... off-putting. He talked a lot, getting on tangents that had nothing to do with me. Dr. Grubb is very concerned about pregnancy. Three of his youngest POTS patients got pregnant this year- and that kind of bodily stress would wreak havoc on the autonomic nervous system. I understood and said I wasn't one he'd have to worry about. But still his lecture continued, and it felt like an accusation.

The appointment must've been an hour and a half. Not once did he ask about my symptoms, my day-to-day pain or severely limited lifestyle. He had no comment on my current medication. Our questions about Kangen water, light therapy, soundwave therapy -- things that have helped other people through pain and stormy weather -- all ideas were dismissed with an expression that could be best described as insulted.

Whatever. At the end of the day, I'm the patient. I'll do whatever helps me.

He gave me a prescription for Nuvigil - a stimulant used predominantly by the military and night-shift workers. I will keep it around and can take it on an as-needed basis.

Other highlights: Reconditioning, hydration, don't get bitter, take small steps, "don't freak out". He highly recommended taking short courses online at www.teach12.com, to test my stamina for sitting in class and being able to pay attention.

Other breaking news: a friend-of-a-friend who has POTS is getting an MRA (like an MRI) done this week to analyze the arteries to his brain, because the brain being deprived of oxygen is what causes his POTS symptoms. Will wait to hear what happens!

To whoever left their peanut shells all over the rest stop parking lot for me to stomp on: Thank you. That was a great stress-reliever. :)

et

Farce

Not much to report. Big ups and downs with the weather. Love the ups!

New favorite choreographer: Kate Jablonski (!)


peace, strength, all that good stuff,
emma

Armada

Ups and downs this week. But really, five hours of hula-hooping, bubble-gum-bursting, forgetting-I'm-sick birthday party FUN... totally worth a day in bed. I love catching up with old friends and making new ones. :)

Things I like today: LOST, What's Eating Gilbert Grape somethingstore.com

chocolate basket,
emma