About A Girl - The Academy Is...

Last night I dreamt about Disney World, a marching band, and Crystal Light. And a vending machine named after my friend from elementary school. Huh. Whatever happened to her.

Maybe she set her sights sky-high and got something named after her. By a loved one or a charitable organization. Or someone who knew she'd wince at the idea. Something useful. Or insulting. A vending machine.

If I had a vending machine, it would torture people. Like a giant kit kat logo on the side, and office workers going Crunch!(smile) and playing the jingle...and smiling...and close-ups of the wrapper...and sliding around on their desk chairs... you know, the normal candy bar experience. But instead the vending machine is filled with, I don't know, salt and vinegar potato chips. And nothing else.

The automated voice prompts you to select one of its options. Please? Because you. Need a break. :-)

Curious. There's no place to insert coins, dollar bills, or even swipe a credit card. Are the chips free? Doors slam in the distance as the last of the commercial crew exits. You try a few buttons and wait. The message cries out urgently. Select. An option below. Please? [video of spinning candy] Because you. Need a break. :-) A light flickers. The hallway darkens. How long have you been standing there? [Spinning candy. Spins faster. Automated voice cackles as best it can.] Ah hah. Ah hah.

Far away from all the normal vending machines, the monster mesmerizes and consumes you... through...the snack tray!

You first. And then your co-workers.

If they notice you're gone.

[Thunder and lightning!]
emma

The Little Things - Carlos Bertonatti

It rained. I felt icky. Three small dogs in the house made things more fun though. Some better hours today. Making progress; moved contents of the room to closet.

cheryl frasier's idea of the perfect date,
emma

All For You - Sister Hazel

Slowing down the last couple days - sore, tired. It's going to rain soon, so I'm not doing as well today. But I'm thankful for an amazing week of feeling better! Wish I could predict more. Who knows!

Have a great weekend.

et

We Live - Superchick

I'm doing really well. Today I spontaneously befriended two five-year-old girls on my street. (Little-girl squeals) "PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES!" We ran around for an hour. AN HOUR. I've had so much energy since I got back from San Diego. It's almost weird. I'm reading, exercising, I got to attend my sister's voice recital... it's great. Taking nothing for granted.

And I walked around the MALL. I haven't even BEEN to a mall in a year. Not tired at all. Ahh yay.

The Emma Trevor Institute of Thought and Design is sponsoring a room makeover. My sister and I are designing and thinking. Cotton Whisper. June Vision. Pensive Sky. Whoever gets to name paint colors, I'm jealous.

emma

P.S. TAX SEASON IS OVER! :-)

There She Goes - The La's

Another great day...? I'm surprised. I haven't changed meds or exercise or anything. But hey, I'll take it! Productive, walking, swimming, decent focus, reading some. It's happy.

Ah, sorry. I got a virus. Don't open the email! Thanks.

et

Drive - Incubus

Back in IL. Today's been exceptionally good. Zero frisbee skills, but the pup doesn't seem to mind. :)

ciao,
et

News

My endurance is better in San Diego. However at this point, I am not healthy enough to withstand the rigors of the University of San Diego. It's too much of an academic risk, and the hills are especially difficult for me to navigate.

The plan: I will return to San Diego and attend a (level-ground) community college if I am not better by the end of summer. It'd be ideal to avoid the "fall slide" POTS throws at me when the seasons change. Meantime, medications will be adjusted, exercise enforced, and spirit encouraged.

Balboa Park has a dog park. There are dogs. They are cute. Almost as cute, I find, as the nameless boy, the little Asian boy who shoots me. Shoots me with his (new) toilet brush machine gun. Victorious, he turns into a goose AND a robot. I perceive this because he puts down his weapon and says "HONK" and "I am a robot." He jumps. Honks. Runs away. Comes back. Repeat. I want to be friends. Yet he does not understand my quacking. I am FLUENT in Preschooler, dummy.

Sigh.

Little boy skips to the back of the salon. Opens the door. His aunt is changing. They both scream. She hates the dress she's trying on. She screams again. Little boy screams again. Everybody laughs. Little boy cries. Then they disappear, off to lunch, never to be seen again.

Until perhaps the fall.

emma

Technicolor Phase - Owl City

Long, long day. Slept only 3 hours last night. Orientation for prospective new students left me overwhelmed, tired, and sunburned. My physical reaction to the weather isn't as dramatic as my last visit, but I do have more endurance than at home. Foggy and spacing out during the speakers. USD is a terrific school. We'll see if it's in the cards. Will meet with disability services on Monday.

It really comes down to how I'm feeling and whether I can bounce back. One day at a time! :-)

research,
et

Happy - Leona Lewis [SD 1]

We made it to San Diego last night. It's sunny and 70. Sleepy and sore but looking forward to getting out in the sun.

To the woman next to us on the plane, my apologies. I didn't mean to stare. Your 5-inch heels were unbelievable. You walk in those? Through an airport?! And keep them on for a four-hour flight? Brave or insane, I can't tell.

More later!

java jive,
emma

Spinning Wheel - Blood, Sweat, & Tears

Sore and exhausted, but happy with yesterday's workout.

My blood is cold and unsettled. My mom and I leave tomorrow for San Diego, and I don't quite know how to feel about it. Open mind, right? Trying to look at the trip as a vacation. No pressure about school, just exploring the options. Health above all.

"Your wrists look like a baby's."
"Wait, don't babies have fat wrists?"
[thinks] "Your wrists look like Jimmy's when he was four."
"Ah. Well put."

Please pray for safe travels!

peace,
emma

But Anyway - Blues Traveler

Making a conscious effort to eat more.

[On TV, a trailer for a famous film.]
"Wait, what movie is this?"
"I dunno. One of those fighting ones?"

et

How He Loves - David Crowder

Busy day! Church; family; it's raining now. I'm tired and foggy but thankful for today.

"Oh! Emma, you'd be interested to hear this: Did you know that middle children are 158% more likely to join a gang?"
"...well I guess that explains it."

Family gatherings. You can't make this stuff up.

et

Dr. Grubb's Office

Today: University of Toledo Health Center, Division of Cardiology, Autonomic Disorders Clinic
For: Beverly Karabin, PhD, RN, CNP
Time: 1.5 hours
Result: Good stuff, vague stuff, feeling really tired.


In the waiting room where my sister plays 10 games of solitaire, and stares curiously at an overweight stranger's t-shirt. "I ♥ COWS", a giant cheeseburger on the back. She sips from an extra-large McDonalds cup. Seriously? You're in the office for cardiology, steps away from the emergency unit. It's not my place to judge, ever. But I'm keeping an eye on this food revolution Jamie Oliver's got going.

The doctor is understanding and knowledgeable. Presented some detailed (albeit limited) studies and data. She reads through my various work-ups, talks meds, school, San Diego, etc. Reinforced (1) POTS will not shorten my life; I will grow out of it; (2) We're doing everything right (tilt-training, salt, etc); (3) We can work with USD's administration to get as much help as we need to make school possible for me. Beverly has spent the last 5 years (and just completed!) her dissertation on *ahem* "College Students with the Hidden Disability of Orthostatic Intolerance." BAM. A personal note from a specialist, oh, AND 328 pages of research... well that's handy.

Getting tired so I'll wrap this up: She's enthusiastic about school, but honest that the road may be bumpy. Respected my past Rx attempts and recommended a stimulant to boost energy; prescribed Wellbutrin (to begin after I get home from SD). Then we'll monitor Celexa and Florinef. Pointed out patients who have gone on to live happy and full lives, and even having natural children. So. Hope. Get through today. Nothing is impossible!

Not sure if the visit itself was worth the drive, but it's cool to be officially on Grubb's patient list. He sees 1500 a year, just with POTS. I'm worn out from sitting up in the car. Gotta rest up. Six days to San Diego!

My sister is cool. My mom is cool. {mufflemufflemuffle) from Project Runway is cool.

love,
emma

Our Time Has Come - James Ingram

Made it to Toledo. Keeping low expectations and an open mind for tomorrow's appointment.

Raleigh wins Pup Of The Month!!

free candy,
et