Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

Last couple days have been really hard physically. Weary from the week. I'm still encouraged that I can keep up with the "sprints;" but we'll see how the "marathon" of the semester plays out. Keeping an open mind, no pressure.

Do You Hear The People Sing? Um, yes, to no end! Haha - Les Mis auditions tomorrow. Break a leg, Jules!

peace,
et

P.S. - more tunes =)

In The Journey - Martin Sexton
Wait and See - Brandon Heath
Bigger Than My Body - John Mayer

College?!

Wow. Sorry. Late.

Let us consider this week CONQUERED!

I went to all my classes! Woooo! I like being in the world again. Sometimes it's hard to stay focused for the whole 3 hours, but I'm keeping up with physical and mental demands thus far. It's gonna take a lot of discipline and time management. I'm definitely tired after class, but whoa. I'm in class. So excited.

My classes are, respectively: intense, fun, dull, and intriguing. How do you write a 10-page research paper on screwball comedy in American film? I guess we'll figure it out as the semester progresses. *Pie in the face!*

I was surprised and comforted to hear others' stories: financial, personal, whatever. I think a lot of us walked in thinking, "I have failed. This is not where I wanted to be." But then we realize we're in the same boat. Job losses, illnesses, this kind of stuff happens. Everybody's doing the best they can with what they have. :)

The dogs are following me around the house.
Entourage, roll out.
emma

Breathe (2AM) - Anna Nalick

Hi! Busy busy, but I'll take a moment now for an update:

Friday night was a toughie. Fatigue, pain, palpitations; I had to miss out on some family friend stuff. Sadface. Just taking every hour as it comes, trying to focus on how great my good hours are! Mental clarity = increased energy and productivity. I still get tired, nauseous this morning, but keeping positive! :)

Classes start Wednesday! Yay! I'm nervous, but mostly psyched. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

pencils and paper,
emma

Kyrie - Mr Mister

Don't mean to brag, don't want to jinx anything, but legit, folks.

Wednesday may have been the best day I've had this year. *eee! yay!*

Practically symptom-free, on my feet mostly from 8 to 5. I was tired at the end of the day, a little foggy, some palpitations, but WHOA this is really encouraging. Progress! I should be the new spokesperson for 5-Hour Energy. I'm standing, walking, reading, driving, swimming, cleaning? I mean seriously. My room is clean.

My mental and physical fatigue were virtually beat. I don't really know how. I can't say for sure if it'll last (please!). But I have so much hope! Yay! And I'm driving! Epic.

Today's been a little slower, resting up, still good. :)

I'm reading a novel I really enjoyed a few years ago. The narrator, to this point, is a mischievous 5-year-old. Her latest adventure? Finding a fitting name for a stray cat. "Kyrie Eleison! Dona! Dona Nobis Pacem! Panis Angelicus? Adeste Fideles? Agnus Dei?!"

Hahaha.

later, Latin,
emma

More Than Useless - Relient K

Quick update:

• Attended a family event!
• I drove all by myself!
  
• Made banana bread!

Still taking it a day at a time, an hour at a time, but I'd say things are looking up.

all-purpose flowers,
emma

Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk

Yesterday was hard. Just can't predict this stuff. Took 2 doses of 5-hour energy. Chest pain in the evening.

Today - good hours in the morning! Significantly improved endurance, walking, biking. Focusing on getting protein every few hours; it seems to help. But my bad hours come without warning. Grr. Took 1 dose of 5HE in the afternoon. Meh. I dunno.

It's a puzzlement. It's an experiment.

"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma."

winston churchill,
et

More Than A Feeling - Boston

Good day count: 4 in a row.

Today I drove a car! For the first time since Thanksgiving, I drove my car! Happy happy! Bonus points: I didn't hit a single cone OR construction worker! YES.

Physically a lot stronger, mentally so much clearer, not to mention feeling really peppy. Couple slower hours in the afternoon, so we're playing around with the timing on the 5-Hour Energy.

I DROVE A CAR AGAIN! I am so excited. :)

victory,
et

I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

Last night I dreamt I was shopping online for scarves. And they were all free. So I ordered like 25. And I woke up, and it was happy.

Good day again! I am amazed at how well I'm doing. Walked the dogs, practiced yoga, read... yay! Fatigued in the afternoon. No biggie. A little sore now, time to break out the epsom salts.

And yes, I am taking [song] requests! :)

let the beat rock,
et

Keep Pushin' - REO Speedwagon

Yesterday rocked. Today pretty much kicked tush. I woke up at 6 this morning with SO much energy! Mental alertness is my favorite! Yay! Tilt-training for over an hour, did a ton of chores, read the paper, laughed at my horoscope, really just feeling like my old self. :) When my mind is cleared of the "brain fog" and just constant mental fatigue, it is so much easier to be strong in body and spirit -- all three (mind, body, spirit) so important in recovery.

Very impressed with 5-Hour Energy. I am doing so much! And my numbers look fab! What a turn-around. Two good days in a row? True love is B vitamins...8000% more B vitamins to be exact. Mwah!

If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.
If you give a dog a bath, prepare to get soaked.

scuba gear,
emma

Stand In The Rain - Superchic[k]

Rough days. Didn't sleep well last night. Talking about putting me on another drug to help combat the fatigue... ugh. On a whim this morning we had me try "5-Hour Energy" - yes, the one with the ubiquitous commercials. And you know what? It worked. I was (and to some degree, still am) mentally alert! Yeah! A little hyped up, sure, but I felt really good! :)

I don't know very much about 5-Hour Energy. Claims to be more "natural" than other energy drinks - amino acids, B vitamins, and as much caffeine as a cup of coffee; low calorie, low sugar. I love the idea of boosting energy with a supplement rather than adding another drug. I'm not totally symptom-free, but it's been a good, productive day. Answered a bunch of emails, ordered textbooks, swam. Just having the mental clarity is huge. I'm hoping this energy supplement will help me get through classes -- starting in just a couple of weeks!

Right now I'm signed up for 5 classes at CLC, knowing that I can drop one if need be. The lineup is: Environmental Biology, History of Asia, Intro to Teaching, Film, and Speech. Nice.

The moral of the story: POTS is such a general description for a disorder so incredibly unique to each person, no two cases are identical. What causes a bad reaction for one person may be extraordinarily helpful for another. Find what helps you. My mantra: Whatever it takes.

Ah! And check out these freakishly stable numbers!
lying down .... 108/73 ..... HR 57
sitting up .......108/73 ...... HR 50
standing up ...116/79 ...... HR 57

Not. Even. Kidding. :)

I'll try to get to more emails etc tomorrow.

protein,
emma

Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor

Gotta keep writing. alsdkjfaklsfslkjf. agh. This sucks. Gotta do something about it.

I just finished reading When Bad Things Happen To Good People. I disagree somewhat with the author's main argument, but I like what he says about compassion. In crisis, more than ever, we need understanding and patience. Too often we're quick to judge a situation because we're afraid. We're human beings; we look for logic and patterns to explain or justify tragedy. But we don't have all the answers. Sometimes really, really, really bad stuff just happens. It's not fair.

The most meaningful gift we can give is to comfort each other, to know we're not alone.

We're thinking of starting a support group locally and online for POTS patients. Too much suffering going on here. Time to get some federal funding for POTS research. Time for change. Stay tuned.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

peace,
emma

Hold On - Good Charlotte

Time to catsup. (Or perhaps tomato sauce, if you're in Australia.)

Saturday was really weird. After a string of mostly good days, suddenly I just felt awful. My numbers were lookin sharp (124/81!) but I was in bed all day. I wrote that I felt "numb and hollow." Considering I don't even remember writing that, I'm going to guess my description was pretty accurate.

We had the fam-friend crew over that night. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do much, but we ended up having a ton of fun. My favorite are the moments when I'm laughing so hard that for a couple of minutes, I forget I'm sick. :)

Sunday, crummy, but swam a little anyway. The chest pain is the worst. Yesterday was a little better. Weird dreams. Glad to see my temperature back down again - 97.9 - yeah! Today I got my butt kicked in water aerobics. I feel enlightened. BP's kinda low, looking into it. Brain's foggy. Trying to sort out some school affairs. Still doing the tilt-training for at least 30 minutes twice a day. Tiring, but worth it.

phew. that's all I got.

later, skaters.
emma


"And if I had $1000000, we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner. But we would eat Kraft dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchups... like the fanciest... Dijon ketchups! Mmhm! Hmhm!"

Stronger - Kanye West

And then there are days that threaten to rip you apart from the inside.

Titles this month will feature songs with strength-inspiring lyrics.

day by day,
emma