Fun-sized, Me-size!

I'm about 8 weeks into my training, and things are going well. I'm gaining muscle, stamina, and flexibility. My weight has leveled out, which is great. I haven't gotten my heart rate in the target zone for a couple weeks, but I'm okay with that. Kinda wonky last week. We had some brutal, hot, humid days here in Chicago, and for me it's not worth it to risk a full-out workout in those conditions, even indoors. Safety first!

Salt: as much as I can bear. Tip: one tortilla has 410mg of sodium. Yeah, eatin' like 4 of those a day. Here's a great list I found too, for people seeking high-sodium foods. POTS is even mentioned in the comments.

Exercise is so fun. I forgot how much I love weight training, especially upper body and core muscles. They make your posture fierce! Which allows you to breathe more efficiently, and sing more fully! Yay!

Favorite compliment of late: "Emma! Wow, look at you. You're so... Emma-sized!"

Trust me, ladies; we are not meant to be super thin. Little boy bodies are for little boys. Celebrate yourself. Honor yourself. Challenge your muscles, mind, and heart to grow strong with a fun and active lifestyle. Fitness can be an art form, an outlet of creativity and problem-solving. And it builds self-confidence and gym membership can foster relationships! Exercise is good. Eating is good. Taking care of ourselves is so incredibly important. Don't let anybody-- self, family, media-- tell you that being stick thin is equivalent to being healthy. Ain't so. Healthy Emma is Emma-sized.

Anyway. Squee. I am happy.

2:30am, still waiting for some kind of sleepiness to set in. No biggie. To the DVR!

love love love,
(see you at the family reunion?)
emma

Progress!

Sodium: 7000+ mg/day
Sleep: 10-14 hours/day
Work out: 50 minutes of cardio 3x/wk, 30 min of weights 3x/wk, stretching every day
Weight: 121 lbs

Woo-hoo!!! Things are looking up. I'm feeling "better" - exhausted and sore, but overall more capable, more flexible. Slightly frustrated that I haven't been able to keep my heartrate in the target zone for very long, so I'll be focusing on that this week.

By the time I'm done with this program, my hair could be as long as hers!

Exercise consumes my time and my thoughts. It takes a lot of coordination: who's dropping me off, who's picking me up, what muscle groups will I work and for how long, and (of course) what to wear!

A big ol' smile, that's what.

Every day is an adventure. Just keep going!

emma

2012 Begins

Hello out there! It's been so long. How have you been? You look great! And your hair! Well, yeah, it could really use a trim. I happen to have a couple of sharpened spoons in my purse, it'd take me two seconds to snip off that awkward tuft. No, no, other side of your head, dear. What? No! I mean, you can hardly tell. One kind of overshadows the other. It's not so bad. Just ask the nice lady for your money back. What do you mean, "not much of a lady?" You what?

And so we resume our blogging schedule, A gift for you, dear friends: my witty yet poetic perspective on life; my fanciful feast of prose; my great, noble, glorious, and of course humble, humble words-- all posted so you, gentle readers, may not act out of despair or desperation, say, by soliciting a 12-year-old girl to cut your hair. Lemonade stand aside, do you really want to spend your investment dollars on her? No, the pink plastic barrettes do not make it look less foofy. Friend, your hair is important to me. You deserve better.

Anyway, I'm back! Things are looking up overall. I'm gaining weight (2 pounds!), still driving, working out, and keeping busy. I'm starting classes at CLC in a couple weeks-- very excited for my two classes: Lifespan Development and Community Health. Planning to continue volunteering with Snowball and ESL this semester. Did I mention my ESL student, Youngsim, had her baby this week? A healthy little girl. Aw, I feel like a proud auntie.

Looking for some means of steady income... most likely more chores, babysitting, and ESL tutoring. My only frustration right now is that I have to sleep 12 hours a day. But that's so minor compared to all the pain and limitation from before. I'm amazed about being able to function perfectly in the rain and drive in snow! Beautiful little things that are so big to me and my family!

The fam's still going through some "challenges." But we're all optimistic about turning things around in 2012. Tomorrow the Trevor Tribe will climb to Mount Wannahockaloogie and dramatically shoot our New Year resolutions through the Ring of Fire!

My first goal: Church hop weekly. More on that later.

most sincere wishes for a bright new year,
emma

Hey. It's July.

 So much to catch up on. Bullet points! Pow!

• The seminar went well. It was a huge risk for me, physically, to try to be active and attentive for 3-4 days. The schedule allowed 7 hours for sleep... when I usually need eleven! It was challenging to the point of almost impossible, and I was in bed for 3 days after, but it was worth it. I got outside my comfort zone. I met strangers from across the US and Canada and bonded with several individuals. I witnessed others' breakthroughs and affirmed my own dreams. It was a good experience. But I am going to be in a better place before I do something like that again. Oh, the bruises!

• I'm decreasing  the Midodrine dosage further. Yay! From 20 to 10mg/day. It's Day 7. Things are going pretty well overall. I've kind of been through this before, so I know to keep an eye out for mood swings. My family has learned to heed my warning. Sometimes I'm tired or anxious or sensitive to sound. It's not terrible, but it's not fun. Makes me want to get back into a healthy lifestyle and practice preventive health.

• Swimming/stretching, 25-30 min. Gotta get back into yoga soon.
• Weight: 109; 110; 110
• Appetite: much improved! Dessert, please!

• Recommended films: Shawshank Redemption (ah! music therapy!)
• Currently reading: Crazy Love by Francis Chan

love,
emma

Humidity Begins

Weight: 111

Sleeping: 10+ hrs/day

Gatorade: As much as I can take. It's HOT out!

Mental/Emotional Health: Stable. I had terrible mood swings for a few days last week, sinking really low and not feeling like myself. But I think that effect of decreasing a dosage has passed.

The bottoms of my feet are: purple

Currently Reading: A Million Little Pieces by James Frey; Savage Inequalities by Jonathan Kozol; Quitter by Jon Acuff

I'm really excited for: So You Think You Can Dance - Vegas Week; Pathways.


smile,
emma

Day 6 of Cutting Back Midodrine Dosage

I'm totally off the Florinef. I think my body's doing okay with that; I've noticed fewer sparkle episodes upon standing.

Previously I'd been taking 30mg of Midodrine daily, in 10 mg pills. One at about 8 am, noon, and 4pm. This week (per Dr. Rogers's directions) I stopped taking the 4pm dose. Just going through adjustments... some easier than others. Digestion's getting better, taking risks in small bites. I'm sleepy more and sleeping more, sometimes 12 hours a day. Feeling kinda foggy-minded, kinda slow, kinda sad, but all in perspective. I've been through drug changes before, and I can separate my thoughts from me. My brain's still strong, and I love that-- even read a 400-page novel in 5 days!

This week - 2 pool workouts, 25 minutes ea. Sore the next day. Need to stretch more.

I look like I weigh about 105 lbs. This week I checked in at 114 and 111 lbs. (Disclaimer on all weight-related entries: Weight is neither a complete nor an accurate indicator of health. Within a given month, it is normal for a person's weight to fluctuate, especially for menstruating women. It is my goal to gain weight, and to do so healthfully, mindfully. I am unique, as is everyone. I could say a lot more about unsafe eating and/or exercise habits but will save that for another time.)

Otherwise, keeping up somewhat socially. Starting a regular multi-vitamin tomorrow. Avoiding some things, like cleaning my room. It's beyond wreckognition! Better get on that...after a long snooze.

peace,
emma